To celebrate our return to posting (for now), we were going post this great Vanilla Ice music video for “Ice Ice Baby.” But unfortunately, embedding was disabled. Sure, we could have found another version on YouTube. YouTube has everything. But instead, we decided this was a better idea anyway:

Classic Jim Carey. It’s funny how people forget just how funny he was on “In Living Color.” This “White White Baby” video is definitely only the tip of the iceberg of funny performances from that show. I wonder what it would be like now if Jim Carey reunited with the Wayans brothers for a movie or show. I’d like to see that…

Have you ever held a real gold coin? Me neither. But you can imagine what it would be like? Right?

Well, that’s why I’m thinking about using Monex Deposit Company (MDC) to invest in gold and finally get to. With it, I can buy silver, gold, or any other precious metal! I can get personal delivery in a timely fashion and convenient and safe storage at an independent bank or depository. And, MDC has been the leader in this for 30 years! Silver is available in coin or ingot. Bodacious!

What are ingots? They are pure bullion cast in a convenient size and shape. What are coins? Well, we all know what coins are. They have currency value. Now is the time! World demand for silver exceeds annual production, and has every year since 1990. Above ground stockpiles are running on the low side and even shrinking at a rapid rate! Buying gold and using it as an investment has been going on for years. I’m talking centuries. That’s 100 years! You see, it’s all about purchase power. It’s all about being unique. During the time of the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans…all the way to more modern times…people have loved gold and considered it worth a lot. Men have been fascinated with the way it can change a life. But nowadays, it can diversify investments, protect your precious wealth and even preserve one’s purchasing power! I know if I bought gold I would want it to do those things for me.

The same is true for silver. Silver bullion is just as good for investment. And it’s as deep-rooted in history as gold is. Since the end of WWII, the U.S. used to be the largest stockpiler of silver. But now it’s dumped billions and billions of ounces of silver bars onto the world market. That has decreased silver prices. But what kind of products am I talking about? How about American eagle gold coins? You can buy them in units of 10 one-ounce coins for personal delivery! .9167 fine gold. Legal tender coin.

Check MDC. They have plenty of other products as well. Products just as good as the ones I just mentioned. And Monex prides itself on having the best us silver coin prices and programs of anybody in this industry. And their staff is dedicated and hard working. They will not stop until you get what you want. That’s what I heard at least.

“Hilarious driving women” is funny. Not because of the implied sexism. Because of the driving. What first-time driver can’t relate? Sure, these are all women drivers. Women drivers who are awful. But that doesn’t mean it’s because they are women. It’s just because they are awful behind the steering wheel of an automobile.

I still can’t believe that lady flipped that car. At least she is alright. I heard her name is Austina Powers! Hey-oh! (Just kidding. That was a fake joke. Happy late April Fools.)

If you have seen this Incredibad/SNL Digital joint, then you (barring you are over 18) should. It’s hilarious, slightly disturbing and hilarious.

See? Now wasn’t that funny? I don’t even have a reason to roast it. Nor do I have a reason to update this site anymore since I have bigger things on my plate. Nor was I in a good place mentally when I created this site (just like the guy in the video!). So there you have it. Cowards on the internet, you win. You have talked enough shit in the comments section and you are right: This was not one of my better moments. This site was not one of my best creations. But whatever. I did it. Like a boss.

When some people think of blog advertising, the first thing that comes to mind is Google AdWords or another form of pay-per-click advertising, usually cluttering the area surrounding a naive webmaster’s personal stories about his dog or girlfriend (hopefully not the same).

But what I want to talk to you about is a much better form of blog advertising. It’s called Paying Post. It’s a great service that allows bloggers to get paid to write blogs. It allows bloggers to, essentially, write on a professional level, with the purpose of advertising a particular product or service. It’s not the usual clutter in your sidebar. It’s advertising through well-written blogs, with the purpose of informing. It’s relevant, out in the open and a great service in the ever-changing reliability on the internet as a main source of information. It’s great for bloggers, advertisers and readers.

But what makes Paying Post different is that aside from the offers on their site, they also allow you to post a banner on your site and let advertisers contact you directly to negotiate terms for a paid blog. It’s rare for a paid blog service to offer this much promotional capabilities and freedom. They even offer a referral program that allows bloggers to earn even more by referring people to Paying Post with a separate banner on their site.

This is the new direction of blog advertising and it’s a great system. It’s one of the best forms of this form of monetized communication that exists in the current state of internet today. If you are a blogger who would like to earn money, or an advertiser who would like to spread your message throughout the blogosphere, Paying Post is a great option. I’d recommend it highly. I’m not just a promoter. I’m a blogger for hire as well.

Robot Dean Martin uses Paying Post and so should you.

In honor of the Christmas holiday, and this being the first post in forever, here is an annoying video from iJustine. Nerds love this chick, but…well…at least she is hot…I guess…

Nowaydays, you are either gold are you aren’t. And when you aren’t, it sucks. When you are…it will soon suck when you aren’t. So either way, you suck. But at least you are golden, and you can buy gold. Make sense? Yes? Absolutely? Good.

But what do you do? Well, here is what you do… If you use Monex Deposit Company (MDC) you can purchase gold or other precious metals and get them delivered to your place or a convenient safe storage place! Or you can even use an independent bank or depository place! Immediately! Right away! Right on!

And they’ve been doing this for 30 years, man! That’s 3 decades! (Say this next line with a Brooklyn accent) In the books! (Okay, back to a normal, midwestern accent.) Anyway, they are the leading gold and precious metals investment leader in America! And gold is a great product to invest in. You can invest in it in one of it’s two forms. Try coin or ingot. We all know what coin is. But what is ingot? Seriously, that’s a weird name for anything…let alone gold. Well, ingots are generally gold and pure bullion cast. That means they are made in a convenient size and shape. That’s what I love about ingots: they are convenient.

The whole art of buying gold has been recognized for centuries. Literally centuries, man. A lot. People have always known that it is the way to wealth and purchasing power. Duh. Gold bullion is also a unique investment that the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans even used. And nowadays, they still do! So you should too!

Gold can change men’s lives. The golden bar today is a proven investment diversifier. It protects your wealth, and your purchasing power! Monex Precious Metals is home to a large and dedicated staff of hard asset pros who are absolutely committed to serving your precious metal investment needs. They are this country’s best dealer, with a convenient market and competitive prices! I’m telling you–gold is the shit, man! It’s so awesome. Buy a gold chain and put it on and wear it with pride, man.

This is some of the worst humor I’ve ever seen….and I’ve seen a lot. Because I am Conan O’Brien. That’s right. Me, Conan O’Brien has been the one writing this blog the whole time. Yup… Alright, that’s not true. But who cares. This is the worst “sketch” I have ever seen. Anything I type here is automatically going to be funnier. How about this: Jon Lovitz blow-up doll. See? That wasn’t even funny and it was funnier than this clip.

National Lampoon’s, quit comedy or hire some people who know what it is and listen to them. Viral videos need to be a lot shorter too.

-Viral Video Genius

The glory days of YouTube Roast! are long gone…but remember the good ol’ days? The Michael Richards vide on YouTube? The kid who jumped from a high school balcony onto the class Christmas tree? The bad comedy troupes that we ripped? Good times.

Well, there’s no reason that we can’t bring those days back, right? You would think so…but the problem is I have no time and neither do any of the other writers. We all have jobs and lives and none of that is conduscent to YouTube Roast! Also, YouTube is so powerful and user generated-friendly that this site is pretty obsolete. I mean, if anybody would actually read what we write, then it wouldn’t be…but once again: no time = low quality content (for the most part).

Oh well. We tried. This site will still be around for now, but I’ve moved my creative energy into other exciting projects. Peace.

Whenever I think of longterm investments that pay off, I think of a shiny metallic substance formerly found in the Northern California hills called gold. Did you like that reference? No? Do you at least want to make money? Good. Read on.

Gold is what makes me get up in the morning and eat corn flakes with a spoon that is unfortunately not made of gold. But every morning, I think about how cool it would be to have a gold, cereal-eating spoon, and it motivates me. I don’t know why, throughout the day, I forget about the spoon, and then spend my day searching YouTube instead of investing, but I digress…

When it comes to buying silver, gold, and other precious metals and coins, you have options. Right? But there is only one Monex Deposit Company (MDC) that you really want to use. I’m serious; everybody else you use will completely suck. Don’t do it. You want personal delivery to wherever you want? How about convenient and safe sotrage at an independent bank or depository in America? That’s what Monex has got for ya. It’s been 30 years too. And after all that time, they are America’s leader in investments of the gold, silver and precious metal persuasion. Malarky! (in a good way…which isn’t possible, but is in this case)

Silver and gold can be available in coin or ingot form if you want to invest in it. They can be pure bullion cast. They can be convenient in size and shape. This is absolutely the time to buy silver/gold. The demand on this planet for silver is way beyond the actual annual production. In fact, it’s been that way every single year since 1990. There are above ground stockpiles of silver bullion that are really low, and shrinking. Technically, I don’t even know if you can call them stockpiles anymore. They are really just piles now.

You want to know about gold too? It’s pretty interesting. It’s been recognized for literally centuries as one of the absolutely most interesting, and best way to preserve one’s personal wealth and power of purchasing. It’s unique. It’s diverse. It’s shiny. And ever since the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans did it, people took notice and decided that gold was the way to go if you want to be rich and cool and pimp. If there were a better time for buying silver bullion…well…there just isn’t. The U.S. government even buys it, because their silver hoard (that one they had around WWII) is gone. So buying silver bars is a good idea that you should look into. And American eagle gold coins are available in units of 10 one-ounce coins for personal delivery only. .9167 fine gold. Legal tender coin in the USA with a $50 face value. They are also available for personal delivery in fractional sizes of ounce, ounce and 1/10 ounce, in units of 20 coins each. Monex prides themselves on having the best US silver coin prices and programs in the entire silver coin industry. If that doesn’t remind you of the truth, I don’t know what does.

So give them a chance. Give them the chance Hollywood didn’t give me. They have a dedicated staff that likes to be dedicated, and shit. They like to show dedication. More dedication than a Lil Wayne mix tape. Hey-oh! They are America’s best dealer with a convenient market and competitive precious metals prices. If you want gold, Monex is your man!…I mean…company!